Logan, my son, just turned 3. This has been making me feel quite nostalgic. I'd love to write about him.
My pregnancy was quite a surprise for us. I only mildly entertained the thought of having children. I really believed I never wanted them. Then, days before Damon's 30th birthday in the summer of 2004, I asked Damon what he wanted. He said very seriously, "a baby!" And, at that moment, I realized that just maybe I did want a baby. So, I got off the pill and very quickly we became pregnant. We had been married just a year at that point, but had been together for well over 5 years. But, what were we thinking? We were both still in graduate school, Damon was too busy with his teaching program to have a job, I only had a student Graduate Assistantship position, I had crappy student health insurance, we lived in an apartment that we didn't even like, and we didn't even have a car suitable for babies! But...we had a plan. I would finish my degree during my pregnancy. I only had one term left of classes and then had to write my master's thesis. Damon would finish up his degree and then land a teaching job for the next year.
I LOVED being pregnant! I knew I was having a boy and was not surprised at all to learn that for a fact at the 18-week ultrasound. Logan was the only name we wanted and it suits him beautifully! I hardly had any morning sickness and my cravings were rice, celery, and Cheerios (not together). I finished up my last term of classes, continued working and began my master's project. By the end of my 2nd trimester, my health had become pretty poor. I had tachycardia, anemia, high blood pressure, and Logan kicked me so hard he gave me a liver contusion! (For those of you who know Logan well, this was a gimpse of things to come!) I was put on modified bedrest, I had to leave work a few weeks earlier than I had planned and had to put my master's project on hold. But, I enjoyed being home and focusing on my pregnancy. I was wildly happy all of my pregnancy. Damon couldn't believe how sweet I was during the pregnancy. I began having consistent contractions on Friday May 6th and went to the hospital early Saturday May 7th. Logan came 10 days early at 2:23 pm. In true Logan fashion, the both the labor and delivery were quite dramatic!
Logan was stuck sideways (ocipitotransverse) and was in distress. The doctor kept wanting to do a c-section, but managed to to pull him out with vacuum extraction. The whole thing was really painful and quite terrifying. I had extreme back labor and the room was really tense. His positioning did a lot of damage to me and one nurse said that his birth was gory and the bloodiest she had ever seen! I felt traumatized. After 9 months of bliss, how could my labor be this scary? Logan, however, did fine! They thought they would have to take him to the NICU right away, but he came out healthy, screaming, and wanting to eat. He was unable to nurse due to his Ankyloglossia (tongue tie)...though we did not know this until after 5 days and nights of no rest and a lot of crying (for both of us). For those of you have ever nursed a baby with a tongue tie, you know the pain and frustration! Not only do they get hardly any milk, but the only way they can nurse is by chomping instead of suckling! Ouch! He got his tongue "clipped" and I pumped milk for him.
Logan was an incredible baby. He was so physically strong and advanced. He, of course, was an "opinionated" baby (according to his doctor) and a very "chatty" baby. The made noise 24/7. Sounds like the Logan we know, huh? He was quite fussy and wanted to be held (in fact, walked around) all day. He, luckily, slept through the night from about 7-weeks. He was interested in everything and everyone. He loved all attention on him. He, even then, was a dramatic little guy. His highs were high and his lows were low. He was a very energetic, social, funny, and silly baby.
He has Damon's hair, my eyes, my sensitive skin, my fussiness about food, Damon's energy, a combination of our smiles, Damon's Flinstone feet, and his own unique soul. He looks exactly as I thought my child would. He seems to just light up a room when he's in it. His outgoing personality has introduced me to so many other mothers and to just new people in general. I have so many friends now because of him. Every day, I am amazed at his zest for life, his intelligence, and his honest emotions. I strive to be half the person he is!
His "terrible two's" made me a much better person. I used to be that person in the grocery store glaring at the parents with the screaming child. Now I AM that parent. Holy crap, AM I! But, he loves his family and is the most amazing boy I know. He is way more energetic and mischievous than I ever imagined a kid of mine could be. What random people in the grocery don't see is our tea parties, how he treats his stuffed kitties like his babies, how he loves his sister, how he cuddles with me and says he loves me all the time, how he is a total Nana's boy, how we can make each other laugh, how he can sit down and do a 25-piece puzzle faster than I can, how he falls asleep in Damon's arms every night, his angelic singing voice, his intelligence...am I gushing too much? I just love this boy!
How did I ever think I never wanted children? I'd die without Logan!
